Control & Anxiety Coping

Howdy! Recently, I've been dealing with a lot of anxiety, and I'm proud to say it has not beaten me or stopped me from doing anything. I celebrated Christmas in my home without anxiety stopping me - despite the fact it refused to let me sleep until halfway through the day. I also saw New Years' in, inside my home, without anxiety.

However, I realized an important factor when beating my anxiety. Control. Anxiety seems to send my sensory to the moon. Noises become too loud while the quiet is also too loud - if that's even possible. Lights become too bright and everything becomes too soft or itchy. My middle ground disappears.

The one thing keeping me grounded during times like these is control. It feels like everything else is spiralling away from my grasp, and I can't control it. So how I cope is finding the one thing I can control.

Picking an outfit for the next day. I have no interest in clothes or how I look, however preparing what I'll wear seems to give me a sense of relief as it's one less thing to do the following morning - or afternoon.

Art. I have mentioned it many times before, but I love to draw and last year really got into drawing realistically. So when I have anxiety I often find myself with my sketchbook in front of me, coloured pencils in hand. Or my doodle book and a ballpoint pen where I can doodle absolute rubbish.

Writing. How surprising, a blogger who spends hours creating a blog post as well as summarising it on Instagram likes to write. When I have nothing in my world to control, I slip into another world and control the lives there. My go to's tend to be; Twilight, Percy Jackson, MCU - a new one, and Harry Potter. I will take a character and a scenario and write them together. Basically fanfiction.

Makeup. I'm not much of a makeup wearer, just eyeliner honestly. But makeup is like a little fun mask, it almost changes my confidence when I wear makeup. I love how I look, don't get me wrong, but wearing makeup is so unusual for me it gives me such confidence.

Reading. Similar to my writing, I'll slip into another dimension. I'm such a bookworm that I dream of having my own miniature library someday inside the confines of a cute home. Currently, I have an entire wall that had to be shelved - thanks dad - so I could fit my books. Even now, I'm running low on room and already have some in boxes.

Video games. I never understood why when you're younger, you are taught not to play too many video games. I understand the aspect of internet safety, however, there is nothing wrong with video games. My favourites are OverWatch or Minecraft. Sometimes the team chat will get too overwhelming in OverWatch - I always stay muted and use the set in responses with the avatars - and I end up taking a breather.

Animals. My dog is such an important part of my life. I've had this discussion with my mum a few times - howdy if you're reading - that we don't know where my mental health would be without him. He is such a precious boy. As I'm typing this, he is asleep on my bed, his head sneaking onto my keyboard. I've mentioned it once or twice, but when I struggled a lot a few years back, the worst I've ever been, he constantly cuddled me to keep me smiling and I adore him for that. Dogs make everything better.

Oh, that was a bit emotional. I wouldn't usually mention my dark period here, however, I'll mention it briefly to remind you we all have our slip-ups and bad times. For me, it was my first bad time and as much as I never want to return, during lockdown last year I had a few weeks of a minor slip where I was always zoned out and tired. We all fall back sometimes, but as my dad described it, life is a ladder and sometimes you lose your balance but each thing is another step on the ladder to the future. Some things are big steps on the ladder that would be smaller for others, but that is ok because we are all unique.

Ending on a cute-ish one. Pinterest. I have an addiction to Pinterest. When I'm bored I find myself scrolling through the app looking at various images. Often animals - cows with fluff are adorable go look them up. So when I get anxiety I will create a new board and name it something interest. For example, I made a board of which I added all the Greek Gods as different sections and in each section created an aesthetic mood board for each.

How do you cope with anxiety and what is your main sense of control during times where you lose it all?

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